Can I ask you to imagine walking in the woods? Visualise the sun streaming in through the tree tops, with the autumnal leaves rustling beneath your feet. You're wrapped up warm, safe and serene; completely at peace with the natural forces surrounding you.
Now take a look at the trees; they're all completely different from one another. Some are taller, some are shorter. Some have grown straight, whilst others have had to twist in their growth towards sun and sustenance; but however the trees appear to you, you accept them as they are. At no point do you ridicule or judge the trees for being too tall, twisted or broad in the trunk, so why can't you apply the same level of unconditional acceptance to yourself, as you would do a tree?
THAT CRAP IS WEIGHING YOU DOWN
Do you realise how much energy you waste by admonishing yourself and obsessing over your (perceived) flaws? Who amongst us is perfect? Who amongst us never makes mistakes? If your harsh judgments about yourself are the conditioning from the hyper-critical people of influence in your life, then it's time to see it for what it is, let it go, move on and fly with some new found mental and emotional freedom. You can't allow someone else's distorted opinion of you to determine how much you can achieve in life, or how high you will fly. Make no mistake, that crap is weighing you down and keeping you small; change something!
Treat yourself as patiently and as compassionately as you would treat a toddler learning to walk. You wouldn't expect an infant to leap straight to their feet and begin walking expertly, so why would you expect instant levels of expertise from yourself when beginning something new? Even those who are truly gifted at a thing were once a novice themselves, so gain and retain some perspective about yourself.
As for who you are, what you happen to look like, or what your character traits may – or may not be – just remember the trees in the woods. Has your life been generally easy, allowing you to grow strong and fast to the dizzy heights of where you are now, or have you had to twist and bend to get what you need? Whatever route you have taken to get to where you are now, embrace it because it's made you who you are – and you're great. Everyone has their unique gifts to offer the world, the world needs yours and no one can tell you any differently – especially you!
TRY THIS...
Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down for me 10 things you are truly great at – 10 things that make you perfectly you – 10 things that make you unique, wonderful and loved by those who love you. Once you have completed your list you will be a fully qualified Perfect 10, and all you have to do from there on, is to go out and share your Perfect 10 with everyone, as liberally as you can.
If life has made it necessary for you to twist in your growth towards sun and sustenance (which must include most of us, surely?), celebrate the strength, insight and lessons it has gifted you. Embrace and accept all the baggage and damage you have experienced and now wear your scars with pride, because it means you were more resilient than the thing that tried to hurt you. Celebrate your dogged refusal to lie the hell down and be beaten, because not everyone is as strong as you. You have survived 100% of the worst days of your life, and you keep moving forward. Do you see now why you're so great?
Accept who you are, warts and all. You are the sum total of all of your parts. You are not just i.e.: the product of your childhood, what you happen to look like, your educational achievements, the job you have, the material stuff you own, the family you come from or the mistakes you've made. You may indeed have a warty node on the inside of your left earlobe, which you think makes you hideous, but what is more important to the world at large is that you i.e.: volunteer for Cancer Research, driving patients to their hospital appointments in your spare time. You're not so bad, trust me, we all have redeeming features and qualities...yep...even you!
Will you promise me that the next time you catch yourself being critical and judgmental about yourself, that you will stop and think about the trees in the woods. Remember how you accept them in all their imperfect glory, and then begin accepting yourself just the way you are also?
If you feel you could benefit from having me as your motivational thinking partner, then please do get in touch, I'd be only too happy to help you perceive yourself differently.